So I am nearing the end of my 30 days. It's been good, for the most
part -- especially to realize that I do have it in me to give up
dairy, if I want/need to. It has also felt good not to eat sugar...
though I will admit that I have consumed more dates this past month
than I care to count. So, the sugar monster has arguably just changed
forms...

What's frustrating to me now, as I stare down the final three days, is
the realization that I actually still have a lot of my same symptoms.
My skin is lovely and clear -- probably the biggest perk of the month.
And my overall level of tummy upset has probably been less...
probably? Yes, it has -- I haven't needed to rely on my activated
charcoal tablets at all, and they had become pretty commonplace in the
past few months. But still, I am surprised at how much still seems to
set me off, even on a super-clean diet. It's given me a sense of
resignation about the fact that I just have a really sensitive system.
I'd like to think that I could someday heal this, but clearly it's
going to be a slow-going process, and it's not going to happen of its
own volition.

So when I think about re-introducing dairy, part of me is nervous...
but part of me feels reckless, like I might as well, because if eating
too much asparagus can cause me so much tummy distress, then why the
heck am I depriving myself of butter!? Maybe that's not even my
biggest problem! On the other hand, I actually don't miss it THAT
much. I'm on vacation right now and I probably would have enjoyed some
cheese last night, but it didn't kill me to skip it. I'd love to put
some heavy cream in my coffee, but I'm doing fine without it. Etc. I
roasted a chicken last night and brushed it with refined coconut oil
instead of butter, and it was still totally delicious.

I'm mostly just rambling here. I guess I'm just bummed, because I
don't feel like I'm finishing with a clean slate, which makes the
whole "careful introduction in order to track reactions" thing a
little less compelling. It will be interesting to see what causes my
first break-out, after I start introducing things, but I don't think
I'll be able to tell much from my belly reactions alone, because those
never really went away.

That's all I got for this morning. Happy weekend!

Yesterday my colleagues took me out for lunch, because I am leaving my
job next week (after 2.5 years). Despite my best intentions, when the
miso soup arrived to accompany my sashimi, I convinced myself it
couldn't hurt. Miso is healthy, right? (Honey, miso is soy, and it is
not on the plan.) Then after lunch, my well-meaning colleague REALLY
wanted me to try her xylitol-sweetened (but sugar-free!) dessert, and
I agreed. (Xylitol may not be sugar, but there are no sweeteners of
any kind allowed on the Whole 30.)

One way or another, I am definitely having some food reaction symptoms
this morning. Ugh. I think the Whole 30 folks would say I have to
start back at Day 1, but I'm going to pretend that ain't so. I can see
why, though. I can see that it's best to give your body a TOTAL break
from all the things it reacts to, rather than simply tormenting it
with less of those things! If I feel like I can keep going at the end,
I will... but I make no promises about doing another 8 days past the
original 30, just because of yesterday's slips. Oh how I wish I had
stood my ground, though!

A little over a year ago I embarked up on the GAPS diet (and started this blog). I was hoping to resolve a variety of symptoms that I assumed to be the lingering effects of a gut damaged by Celiac disease, combined with over a decade of wheat-heavy, vegetarian, low-fat eating (shudder). And, it really helped! I felt a lot better. I was happy to be on a path of healing, even if it meant some restriction. As the months went by, though, I started introducing more non-GAPS foods -- a little chocolate here, a little sugar there, decaf lattes, the occasional serving of rice, a few corn tortillas, etc. It seemed okay, most of the time (though I did come to the conclusion that rice makes my face break out). Overall, I still continued to eat better than most of the country I live in. I wanted to think I was doing well enough... but my symptoms started to come back. 

I kept feeling like I needed to get a handle on things again. At one point last fall, under the guidance of a good nutritionist, I gave up eggs, nuts and dairy for a month, in addition to everything else I was already restricting (grains, legumes and refined sugars). I felt better. But I hated that I felt better! What is life without eggs and dairy!?!?

Near the end of that month I found myself dating a serious cheese-lover, and eating a lot of delicious egg-filled breakfasts in addition to lots of dairy. It was all so yummy! We ate a lot of other healthy stuff, too - quality meats and good vegetables. As the months went by, though, I realized that I had somehow managed to regress, symptom-wise, back to where I was before I started on GAPS. It was rather sobering, and disappointing, to realize that. Was all that work for nothing? I mean... boo. I tried to figure out how to get a grip again. 

Then last week I stumbled upon The Whole 30 Challenge. I read it through, and something about it just made me go... ok, fine. I can do this. Giving up honey and cream and butter and chocolate is sort of sucky... but I can do it. It's not that hard to eat super-clean. I've done it before. Just do it. JUST DO IT. So I started it the next day. 

I'm one week in, and I'm still alive! I feel great, actually. I'm not up in the night with a churning gut, I don't have weird itchy crawly skin, my face is clearing up. I still have some digestive symptoms, which tells me that even some of the "clean" things that I'm eating are actually not that great for me (I suspect egg whites, raw onions, and eating too much fruit), but overall, much improved. It's always amazing to be reminded that I actually CAN have the upper hand over sugar. I don't feel driven by it, and that feels good. (I am seriously praying that I won't have a reaction when I re-introduce butter in three weeks, because that is one thing that I miss.)

I have had a few requests from friends to blog about what I'm eating while I'm doing this. Despite being too busy for most things, I'm going to try to do a bit of that -- which is why I thought I'd post this introductory entry, first. Even if I can't post recipes, I'll try to make note of what I eat in a day, to provide some inspiration perhaps. It is definitely possible to eat really WELL, to eat delicious foods, and to feel full and satisfied, on this plan. It's all about the fats, people. 

So, I'll start with today. It's 3pm. So far I have eaten the following: 

- sauted sausage meat (storebought, no sugars or fillers)
- scrambled eggs cooked in bacon fat
- steamed broccoli sauted with garlic and bacon fat
- leftover pan-fried sweet potatoes (parboiled, then browned on the stove in a mix of coconut oil and bacon fat. Duck fat is better though, if you have it!)
- homemade curry-flavored aioli (this is killer for dipping the sweet potatoes in! so good!)

Then for snacks/lunch I ate: 

- half an avocado
- a small bowl of cooked kabocha squash with a spoonful of coconut oil and a sprinkle of salt
- a few bites of sauerkraut
- a few bites of delicious (but too-expensive!) buffalo summer sausage. 

Dinner tonight is a grass-fed pot roast with root veggies, slow-cooked all day. (My sweetie is cooking for a small dinner party. Left to my own devices I'd probably eat leftover chicken with greens and asparagus, plus some squash.)

Lest you think I eat all creatively all the time, I will confess that last week I had taco beef for lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY. I will post the recipe soon... I suppose it says something good that I can do that without getting sick of it!

So stay tuned... three weeks to go!

This morning's horrifying quake and tsunami in Japan made me remember -- again -- that I need to get my arse in gear and get serious about creating an earthquake kit for myself. It's just not smart to live in Oakland and not be prepared -- and it's especially not smart if you know you can't eat a lot of what passes as "emergency food". My housemate's well-meaning parents sent a ready-made kit a while back, and it included these "food bars" that were basically hunks of wheat, sugar, and maybe vitamins. Oh, and maybe soy protein? They looked disgusting, even if you COULD basically digest those things. 

Said housemate (who also eats gluten-free) and I were talking about it this morning. I speculated that in a life or death situation, I probably would eat wheat. But then I thought... would I? Honestly, it might just make things worse. Without getting graphic, I know what wheat does to me, and I can assure you that I would quickly be rid of any of those gluten-filled survival calories I ingested, and probably more hungry than when I started. 

I did some internet searching just now, and this is the best link I found: 

http://blog.kinnikinnick.com/2010/06/youre-celiac-or-have-food-allergies-are.html

Here's what it suggests under "The Basics":

• Dehydrated or freeze dried food is best because it is light and easy to pack however finding dehydrated food that is gluten free can be challenging. Dehydrating your own food is not difficult and can be much cheaper. Most home dehydrators come with recipe books on how to dehydrate just about anything.
• Where dehydrated foods are not available, canned meats, fish & beans are a good option. Avoid prepared, canned meals as they are often mostly water and less nutrient-dense. You must be aware that all canned foods are heavy and bulky and you might have to carry them for some distance.
• Boil in bag meals and meal replacement beverages can also be an option if they are available. Again you’ll want to watch the weight.
• Dried meats and fruit (jerky, fruit leather etc) are an essential for any kit. They are lightweight, last a long time and have excellent nutritional value. Get low sodium meats if possible. Make your own beef jerky and fruit leathers to save money and ensure they are gluten free.Jerky Tips & Recipes
• Gluten free energy/protein bars are quite widely available and make a great addition to your kit.
• GF dry soup or bouillon cubes can be a good way to add flavor to your emergency meals.
• Rice is often suggested as a good staple for a gluten free emergency kit. I prefer Quinoa as it is far better for you from a nutrient standpoint, it cooks quickly (saving your limited fuel) and can be used for all meals (cinnamon & sugar quinoa for breakfast, cayenne, garlic & beef jerky quinoa for supper). If you want to use rice, get the quick cooking kind. Boil in bag rice is available which is very convenient. Brown rice is better nutritionally, but takes a lot of time and fuel to cook.
• Celiac.com suggests packing a small 3 cup rice cooker but you may be without power so I would suggest a small single burner camp stove or sterno stove with extra fuel. You can even make your own sterno stove. Always make sure you have adequate ventilation when cooking with any kind of combustible fuel.

I would add to the above list: a big jar of coconut oil. It will keep indefinitely, and would provide a good source of calories by the spoonful. You'll need fat, too -- the above list mostly focuses on carbs and protein, and you would definitely need a source of good fats to go along with those. 

Of course, for anyone committed to a grain-free/paleo diet, and not just gluten-free, things get even trickier. I imagine that in an emergency, I would be inclined to eat beans and rice. I know they don't agree with me, but they wouldn't kill me....

Any other suggestions or thoughts? Leave them in the comments! 

"To try to avoid pain and to always seek pleasure will mean, much of the time, the non-acceptance of truth. It usually means the rejection of what is there. It means rejecting your experience. It means rejecting your consciousness. It means rejecting yourself. Now how is that going to lead to harmony and happiness? Sometimes your experience is painful. What are you going to do? It’s your experience. If you don’t want it, you have to throw it away. Then you throw away part of yourself. Well, how can you be happy if part of yourself is thrown away?" --A. H. Almaas

I bet you could sub coconut oil for butter, if you wanted to make them dairy free.

Enjoy!

http://milkforthemorningcake.blogspot.com/2010/07/shh-brownies-with-secret-in...

This recipe for Orange Creamsicles just showed up in my inbox from the Nourished Kitchen newsletter, and I wanted to save it for later. Would have been perfect last weekend during our freak January heatwave! 

(photo credit: Jenny at Nourished Kitchen)

I think I'll be trying this. Looks so yummy!

The other night I stopped off in a Walgreens (kind of the equivalent of Shopper's Drug Mart, for all my Canadian friends/readers) because I needed a scrubby thing for a home pedicure. While I was in there, I paused to wonder whether there was anything else I needed. I wandered a few aisles in this huge store, and as I did, I realized how useless that place has become for me over the past year. At this point, I scarcely use a single "personal care product" that I could purchase in there. I've replaced them all with homemade alternatives that work better and are far less toxic, or have done away with them entirely.

I thought it would be fun to do a little round-up, describing what I do instead. Some of you will think I'm a freak, I'm sure, but perhaps some of you will be interested and try some of these things out. Let me tell you, there's a lot of money to be saved! You can also find a lot of great ideas (some of them the same as here) over at Kat's blog.

Shampoo - I haven't really used normal shampoo for a couple years now. These days, I "wash" my hair with baking soda about once a week, by making a paste with a handful of it, plus some water, and working it through my hair. On other days I might give my head a quick rinse with diluted apple cider vinegar, or else just a good rinse with water. I do use a commercial (but natural and organic) conditioner. I can't say for sure that my regime would work for everyone, but it works great for me. I have far less scalp troubles now than I used to, and my hair is soft and healthy.

Face wash - I recently started using the Oil Cleansing Method, and I am seriously sold on it. My skin feels amazing! So now my face wash consists of 1/4 caster oil, and 3/4 organic sesame oil. I use about a tablespoon, and only at night. I wish someone had told me about this 20 years ago and saved me all that money wasted on harsh cleansers.

Of course, I am firmly convinced that cleaning up your diet is the most important step in cleaning up your skin. The thing that made the most difference for me, in terms of getting rid of my remaining blemishes, was going sugar-free and grain-free, and adopting a nutrient-dense diet high in good fats. Oh and extra bonus? I don't need to use any foundation or concealer anymore, because my skin looks so much better.

Facial Moisturizer - I barely need any now thanks to the above method, which does not leave my face tight and try. I do have an all-natural moisturizer by Indian Meadow Herbals that I LOVE.

Toothpaste - I gave up on normal toothpaste a couple months ago, after learning about Tooth Soap. I made my own tooth soap to try, and though I still don't love the taste, it does a great job on my teeth. It consists of 5 tbsp virgin coconut oil, 1 tbsp olive oil, and 1 tbsp peppermint Dr Bronner's soap. Blend them together and then dip your toothbrush in it. You can play with the ratios to get something that works for you. I also believe that eating a nutrient dense diet low in phytates is a crucial part of dental health. (See here for some info about that.)

Deodorant - Baking soda and coconut oil all the way. After bathing, rub a bit of coconut oil into your underarms, then pat on a light dusting of baking soda. Truly, this is miraculous. Better than any deodorant or anti-perspirant I have ever used.

So that's my list! Yes, I do still use regular soap on my body - I've been using Dr Bronner's bar soap lately and I like it. Yes, I do still use regular lotion on my body sometimes when it needs it, though I prefer instead to give myself a good scrub with a homemade sea salt/sesame oil mixture, which leaves me nice and soft and with no need for lotion. I haven't quite ventured into making my own hair products... for that, I entrust my frizz-prone locks to Kevin Murphy. ;)

Anything I'm missing here? Anything you've tried that I might like to know about? Comment below!